Friday, June 26, 2009

Poor Farrah

Last night on the local news there was an interview with one of the lesser Osmonds (Adam? Alan? I can't remember all their names) in which he shared his reaction to the 'shocking' news of Michael Jackson's 'tragic' and 'untimely' passing. He also waxed nostaligic about the good old days when The Jackson 5 and The Osmonds were first getting started and sharing a tour circuit. There was talk of how well Donny and Michael got on together; the phrase "best of friends" was bandied about loosely.

At the thought of Donny Osmond and Michael Jackson alone in a room together, I couldn't help myself, my mind just bogled. If I were a slash fiction writer I'd be all over that action. It would be very King Phillip/Richard III in The Lion in Winter, only I'd be hard pressed to decide which should be the love sick school boy and which should be the contemptuous seducer. Either way, Michael's enduring devotion to military fashion motifs would be the obsessive homage to the fantasy games he used to play during his tawdry brush with Mormon sexual repression.

It was an awesome interview. Brother Osmond's hair was badly dyed and he called Orem the bestest place in all of YOU-tah. How I've missed the local news.

Being home has been pretty great so far. I had the bloodiest, juiciest, saltiest, fleshiest steak EVER just days after landing, and knew instantly that it was worth the $6,000 dollars and 26 hour trek it took to get here for it.

Mostly we're just swimming, shopping, and eating. Not much time for blogging in between. I'll check in every now and then, but honestly, I wouldn't be for expecting much from me over the next five weeks or so. If I have anymore steak, I'll be sure to take the time to tell you about it though. Honest to God--it's just. that. good.


Batgirl said...

A proper steak! Yum :-) I'm not envious at all, really!

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear that you got home safe and sound. And as for the steak, mmmm my mouth just waters!! Although, I have BBQ'ed a few mean steaks during the last few days. The weather has been great +25, can you believe it!?!?!?!? Can't wait for you to get back and meet the family, by the way it is now Connie and Gary as well as their son Scott and my youngest Devin. When will the good news stop. Never I hope.

Miss you. Have fun at home. See you soon.

Your crazy Canadian friend (or Canuck) Marilyn

PS. Had another encounter with stairs.... not in very good shape. Oh God, I believe I need a bodyguard.

la dragon said...

oh my god. I'm snickering helplessly. Can't wait to see you.

Corinne said...

*snicker* lesser Osmond.

I know I might be flayed alive for saying this, but I'm not a steak eater. Meh. But damn, do I ever miss real (aka California style) Mexican food. And Southwestern Eggrolls from Chili's.

Really, just anything that constitutes a complete and utter fat-bomb.

trace said...

I met Donny Osmond once at Wagstaff Music when he was in the bass amp aisle and I was vaccuuming the store as the peasant girl. :)

The crush of my youth on him was dashed, as I realized how very short he was, as we looked eye to eye as we spoke. Never had it for guys my height or shorter. (You would think Corey would have picked up on that...)

Wish I could have caught the interview and the dye job - I love how you write!