Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Imagine Me Wispering This. REALLY! LOUDLY!

I have a confession to make.

I'm about ready to quit school.

Quit, as in:

Walk away.

Cease and desist.

Run. thefuck. away.

I have a problem set for my Linear Algebra class due this Friday.  I have to get at least 60% on it to be allowed to sit the exam in May.  You have no idea how tempting it is to just blow the whole damn thing off.  Wash my hair, put on some make-up, and go shopping instead.

I'm all mathed out, folks.  Done.

I was talking to a woman this past weekend, an aquaintance of Mister's from the village he grew up in.  She was asking me what I was studying, how it was going, and such n' all.  I explained that, for the moment I'm in the meteorology program, but I've just finished applying to switch over to the geology department.  She chuckled heartily at this, and said, "Ah! Not autistic enough to get through meteorology's math requirements, are you?" 

Now, I can think of half a dozen ways to be righteously offended by such a casual dismissal of my current academic predicament if I chose to be, but the plain fact of the matter is, she's right.  And funny to boot. So, yeah, I concede.  I'm not autistic enough to get through the math.  I is stooppud.

The reason I'm attempting to switch over to geology is, even if I take the geophysics degree, there are only two required math classes there (neither of them Calculus II), as opposed to the six that meteorology demands.  Geology is what I wanted to do in the first place, but it's a very competetive program to get into in Norway because all the eager young pups coming out of the high schools looking for the quickest route to loads of spare cash know that the oil industry is nothing but booming, and a degree in petroleum geology is their surest ticket to the party.  Meteorology was relatively easy to get into, and global climate change is something I'm genuinely interested in. But this particular program puts all its emphasis on weather tracking, forecasting, and modelling.  Hence the unholy fuck ton of math requirements.  I want out.  I'm trying to get out. 

But. I mean. Like. Seriously? Secretly?  Even if I do manage to get into the geology program?  I don't really want to.  This is my truth.  My truth that my Mister is not yet ready to hear: I want to quit.


Corinne said...

I want to quit every other day. And I take fart-all hippie classes like Climate Change and Development. The level of hard compared to your classes is like a piece of flat land compared to Everest. I've managed to fantastically procrastinate on my bachelor's until now I only have one more month left. And I'm still not motivated.

So, yes. I feel ya. School sucks. But at the end of the tunnel is the faint possibility of a fulfilling job in Norway; who can deny such a sweet siren song?

Jono said...

I had to make a similar decision before starting college. I was 16 and calculus scared the bejeezus out of me so I opted for something gentler. I can regret that now if I feel like it, but I may not have survived the stress. Survival comes first! For me, the light at the end of the tunnel was a train.

JEDA said...

Corrinne--I remember we started at the same time. I was deeply jealous of the fact that you went straight into a college program, whereas I had to go back to frigging high school. It was those two years of catching up to all the science requirements that's sucked most of the enthusiasm out of me. I've totally forgotten why I started. Did it have something to do with getting a job? Can't be right. I don't want a job!

Jono--I did EXACTLY the same thing! I've wanted to study Geology since high school, but the math felt insurmountable. I ended up with a perfectly vacuous bachelor's in Art History. The light at the end of my tunnel may well turn out to be bloody Monet. I thought for sure I was done with that crap!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I think, it is really time for you to be a lady of leisure (as much leisure as you can get raising three kids). You've more than earned it. Auntie Linda

Grandma Gae said...

It's not about quitting. It's about re-evaluating a possibly ill-conceived idea in light of further enlightenment and changing circumstances. Did I say it pretty enough??

JEDA said...

@Mom--Sure. Yeah. Beautifully put. I still have to take the exams though.