Thursday, August 26, 2010

Tonight! On Cops.....

Last night I slept with a (I want to say 'hardened', but that might conjure up the wrong sort of image) criminal.

Of course my mother, who taught hardened criminals in a federal prison for seven years was dismayed. But I found the whole experience rather thrilling. 

His nerves were frazzled, and he was sorely distracted because he'd been caught red-handed--on film even--commiting his heinous crime.  And now his picture was plastered all over the internet news sites.  There was a film segment featuring a grim looking cop calming the good citizens, telling them not to worry, that he, Officer Friendly, was there to stand as stalwart barrier between them and my foul, baleful lover. 

It was all weighing rather heavily on his mind, so I can't say he was all that tender or solitious. Ah, but just to be there for him....To sooth those lawless nerves....To reconnect him to his fraying humanity....What a night!

What's that you ask?  The nature of his crime?  The pernicious scope of his naughtiness?

Are you ready for this?  Promise not to judge too, terribly harshly?

Speed biking.

Speed. Biking.

Srsly.



That's him. That's my wicked man with the radar pointed right at him.  Busted! At 22 kilometers per hour.  This is the picture featured on the article which ran all day yesterday on the front page of BT's (local newspaper) internet site. And although he declined to be interview for the news crew that was there, in the segment they posted you could see him (in all his pixel-ated infamy) getting a stern dressing-down from that behelmeted cop with his hand out.

Awesome.

Alas, he was not hauled off to prison.  He was not even ticketed.  This little display by the local constabulary is a result, no doubt, of an incident that happened over the weekend were a little girl was playing (not too far from our home actually) on a pedestrian/bike path, and was run down by a biker who then took off without stopping to make sure the girl was okay.  She was not.  Her collarbone was broken, and her parents are quite rightly furious. 

Thus goes the on-going war between bikers and the rest of us, and Mister ends up in the news.  Again, I say....Awesome.

He was not indignant or defensive at being stopped.  He was actually rather repentant, and quite honestly chagrinned.  He chooses to use the paths and sidewalks because he tends to agree with me that bikers in the road are just fucking annoying.  But, he probably really is biking too fast to be sharing a space with all those soft, meaty pedestrians.  So what's a well-meaning, non-fossil-fuel burning commuter to do?

Revert to a life of crime.  Obviously.

4 comments:

Guitar said...

I don't know how your family will ever live down the shame. He's just one step from a hardened criminal. ha ha ......
I hope Norway doesn't patrol the hiking paths. Second offenders might not get off so easy next time..

Anonymous said...

As one that walks to the bus in that area I can tell you those cyclists coming flying past without giving any warning is scary. Cycling in the road may be "annoying" but so is cycling on a footpath for pedestrians, remember "Feet first". Here's the report http://www.bt.no/nyheter/trafikk/Se%2C-saa-naere-paa-1142268.html and what he was told off for wasn't the speed, but the speed right next to the pedestrian. I'm agreed with him that there should be seperate cycle paths and just can't understand why they didn't build that in when they layed out the Bybane. The original plans had that, but typical Bergen.

Hanne said...

i had no idea, this is absolutely priceless. he almost kept going as well. badass!

Chels said...

Your blogs are fantastic, but this one had me laughing out loud. Poor guy, to be caught so red-handed! He should have asked the cop to provide a bike speedometer, just to ensure he wouldn't do it again ;)