Cough Into The Uncomfortable Silence

Here's a list of topics I've recently considered writing about, but ultimately rejected for one reason or another:

1. My son's growing fascination with his foreskin
2. The swanky, faux suede chair I've ordered in burnt sienna for the living room--delivery date: Thanksgiving-ish, because it's just that damn hard to make a decent chair these days
3. Bush's incompetence
4. Some steamy fan fiction involving a three-way between myself, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert
5. A 4th child, because my friend Michelle is all fertile and shit
6. Nursing school
7. The identity of the anonymous commenter who insinuated that I might be actually a very nice mother (I blush.....)

Interesting and worthy topics all, but...meh.

I'd rather sink my teeth into something I'm sure my rapt readership really wants to hear. Plus also, some comments would be nice (insert cheeky emoticom here).