Saturday, April 26, 2008

English Lessons

Remember EM's English book? That intellectually jarring, spiritually jolting, psycologically altering work of developmental genius I shared with you a while back about dead mice and hungry cats?

When we eventually returned it to her classroom, I added a note in which, rather than question the suitability of the subject matter or the accessibility of the overarching theme of spiritual struggle between grace and sin it clearly symbolizes, I simply suggested that perhaps the text was a bit simplistic for EM. Have you got anything more challenging?

Her teachers responded by skipping two levels. We then endured three more editions in the same series--slightly less weird, yet infintely more dull: Mary and Steven Go to a Birthday Party, Mary and Steven Find a Snake in the Grass, Mary and Steven Love Each Other Like the Osmonds (or something, I might have misremembered that third one).

Finally I sent another note: Still too easy! Lace us up with all you've got ma'am. We can take it.

This is what she came home with:

That kindly blond man posing as her doctor ends up pimping her out to drug lords and arms dealers in the inner city. Meanwhile Steven, seeing his sister's sad fate, seeks redemption for them both by joining a seminary, but tragically winds up as the senior priest's favorite little bitch.

It is the 9th and highest level to be sure, so obviously it is intended for a slightly older reader than EM. But I don't know. Just seems to me like they've gone a bit too far with the hard-hitting morality bit. I'm considering a strongly worded letter to the superindendent.


Anonymous said...

Unbelievable! I think the school just got upset that you were asking for more and more and decided to play a little joke on you. Jedda, for Pete's sake, why don't you just go to and order books from there? Norwegians don't have a clue about many things, appropriate children's literature being one of them.

Victoria said...

Ok that is hillarious! Really? That is the book they sent her home with? hahahaha!