Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Having Learned That If She Doesn't Ask, I Can't Say No...

I finally picked up a late Valentine’s Day package from Alpha Grandma this afternoon. In it were three boxes of chocolates (which I quickly confiscated until Friday), a heart red sweater for me (awww, she really shouldn’t have), two shirts each for the kids, Spiderman socks for Boy, and three pairs of undies each for the girls.

Boy looked this gift horse directly in the mouth and asked, “Where are the toys?” Elder Miss coolly informed me that the brown shirt was pretty but I’d have to buy her a pair of pants to match them. Missy simply swooned.

Dora panties and a bright pink shirt featuring Dora in a pair of sparkly fairy wings? The haute-est of haute couture in Missy’s world, I tell you what. She quickly gathered these rare treasures unto her bosom and ran upstairs shouting, “I want to cuddle whiss ‘zem, that’s because I want to!” Elder Miss and Boy followed her up saying something about catching the last episode of Power Rangers or whatever. And there they all stayed, blessedly out-of-sight/out-of-mind for the next hour and a half. Giving me ample time to—I know I should say ‘do the dishes, wash the floors, fold the laundry, and pour my husband a second martini’—but I was, in fact, trying to break through to the next, and final level, of Over the Hedge on EM’s Nintendo. Ninety freakin’ minutes, and I still couldn’t find all twenty of those GOD DAMN light bulbs! I’m tellin’ ya’, there’s only nineteen of them. 19. Not 20. Just 19. So LET ME PASS ALREADY! Stupid fucking game. GRRRRRRRR!

Anyway, so 7:30 rolls around, and I call the kids down to brush their teeth and get ready for bed, as per our usual arrangement. Only tonight, instead of Missy barreling down the stairs first shouting that she wants to brush her teeth ‘self’, EM and Boy come a-sauntering in their typical distracted fashion and are half-way done with their nightly ablutions before I hear Missy even make a move in the direction of the stairs.

“Missy, you need to hurry a bit,” I warn in my semi-stern, you’re-okay-for-another-thirty-seconds-but-then-I’m-really-going-to-lose-my-shit voice, “It’s getting late. We’ll miss reading time if you don’t slap a rush on it.”

“Oh-kaaay. I coming,” she mutters, with more than a touch of reluctance in her voice.

When she finally gets into the bathroom—head hung, eyes averted, feet shuffling in the slow, measured way of the guilty—I see that, not only is she wearing her new Dora shirt, but also the pink-ruffled shirt from the package under it. And the hot-pink sweatshirt I sent her to barnehage in under that, as well as the wool undershirt I sent her to barnehage in under that. And, as I start to undress the bottom half of her, I note the jeans and tights she had on earlier—only I’m pretty sure that they weren’t backwards when I put them on her—under those, she’s got all three pairs of new Dora underwear, plus two of the pairs of Dora undies she got for Christmas, plus the faded pair of My Little Pony panties she put on this morning.

What could I do but laugh?

“It’s a bit much, don’t you think, honey?” I chuckle.

Missy’s eyes go from guilty to defiant in a flash, “I has to has Dora on! That’s because I LOVE HER!”

All of which is to say, thanks for the new clothes Grandma, much appreciated.


Anonymous said...

Hey! What gives? I can't publish a comment using Name/URL or Google/Blogger or this new line about OpenID. What is that anyway?

The Alpha Grandma

Anonymous said...

This seems to be the only way I can make the commend thing work, so I'll use Anonymous for now. Anyway, nothing makes me happier than hearing the kids response. Tell Daniel the toys are on the way. He'll like Easter. No more of those I'm-sure-he's-grown-he-can-always-use-underwear kind of goodies. Nosiree! I don't suppose you managed to get a picture of Missy in her getup? I can hardly wait to see them. Give them a kiss for me (and grab one for yourself.)

The Alpha Grandma

JEDA said...

Those comment options are new. Never seen them before. You have a google/blogger id, so shouldn't that option work?

I haven't changed any of my options, so I don't know why it looks like that now. Will investigate further.

jillybaby said...

Awww bless her little cotton socks or rather little cotton Dora panties. Poor little sausage must have bounced down the stairs like a cotton ball with all those layers on.

Can't wait to see them all (the kids that is...NOT the underwear). This whole going to work thing sucks!

cyme5 said...

Thank goodness, I am not the only one who plays on their kid's Nintendo. Only in my case it's where is the bleepity-bleep-star- coin-curse-you-New-Super-Mario-bros. I swear if Hanna had a swear jar it would be in the 10,000 Kr range at least.

Have a happy birthday (next week?)


PS. Hanna enlightened me the other day when I took her swimming. She said that the reason why women shave their 'frogs' is so that they can watch their wee-wee come out. Interesting theory, eh?

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Jamie dear! I hope you had a great day. It was yesterday, right?

So, Missy loves Dora? Did you know she was Latino? It's good at least one of your kids might wind up speaking Spanish...

Big hug to you,