Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Jilly, you left the rum, Love. Tell me you did that on purpose.

8 o'clock New Year's Eve I get a phone call from Jilly who had, just the day before sent her regrets via SMS:  Hogmeny just won't be hogmeny if we can't be in Scotland, so we might as well just have a quiet evening at home. Boo hoo hoo. What.Ever. Jilly Baby. Your loss.

Happily, she thought better of it.

Ring, ring"Hello?"
"Hello, JEDA?"

"Well, um, I was just out to the garage to get a bottle of Coke. And well, the neighbors, you see, they're all out. And they're all dressed up. Pretty dresses. Pretty hair. Fabulous shoes. Gaity. Hilarity. Drunken revelry. And well, I was just wondering.....could we....? That is to say, would you mind terribly if.....? Can we still come?"
Luckily I had already been coached in proper Hogmeny etiquette, so I knew exactly the right thing to say:

"Sure!!! Of course!!! Yes! Come! Now! Immediately!!!"
They missed out on one hell of a dinner: king crab, tiger prawns and scallops in ginger butter sauce, baguettes, and enough white wine to drown a large cat. They showed up around 10, just in time for the real fun to start. They brought whiskey. And did I mention the rum?

I guess I really can't speak for the others, but I had a glorious time.

Did I drink too much? Yes.

Did I make an ass of myself? A little maybe, yeah.

Did my children witness my shame? Surely they were too preoccupied with the fireworks to notice...much....

Is that real champagne I see Mister opening in that picture above? Pommery, darling. Bought from the cellars, direct. And opened saber-style with my best butcher's knife. Smoooooooth.


Jilly Baby said...

I have to say, it wasn't Hogmannay in Scotland but an excellent alternative even if it was last minute on our part. And it's the first Hogmannay I've had sober in living memory (apart from the millennium where I was 7 months pregnant)!

Excellent night though. You and Mister Jilly Baby provided more than enough entertainment to make up for the lack of booze.

And, yes the rum is yours. A gift from me...enjoy!

JEDA said...

Damn! Ya' know I was going to go Google the spelling of Hogmannay just to be sure, but I got distracted by other things. Should have known it would have some ass backwards spelling.

Thanks for the rum, Doll. Mmmmwa.

The Alpha Grandma said...

Hey! I commented here. Where is it? Can you block me? Ooohhhh, that would be a mistake! I can't re-create my original response; just know that it was witty and insightful and worthy of a second read.

I think I spent a full paragraph exploring the possible meaning of the word "Hogmannay". Damn, it was funny! Too bad you missed it.