When I bought the Crocs last week, I said to myself, "OMG, srsly? Are we really thinking about buying these fool things? Fer realz? Like, to wear?"
"Well, yeah, actually. We really are. Sure they're goofy as shit to look at, but they're perfect to throw on to wear from cabin to beach and back again. Much better than thongs or those horridly impractical rock shoe thingys that are impossible to get on once wet. Really. This is what Crocs are made for. Totally legit. We're doing it."
"But, Crocs? We swore we'd never..."
"Yeah, yeah. We also swore we'd never eat moldy cheese or use the TV as a babysitter. We got over those things. We'll get over this."
"But 299 kroner? For plastic...."
"It's fine. Not so bad, really. Just at the cabin. Just for the beach. Ugly shoes for The Ugly Chicken. How fitting."
"Fine. But not that god awful purple. Ack, no! Not the red either. White? Are we mad? No!"
"Work with us, here. Pale pink or black. Decide."
"................pink, the pink ones, then.......Fuck............"
It's hard to say exactly how they ended up on my feet the following day. The floor was cold? I needed to run up to the garage for something and couldn't find my shoes? Was I simply showing them to EM? Mocking them even as I pulled the tags off and slipped them on? Who knows. But somehow there they were--on, not off. Home--not at the cabin. And there they still were at bed time.
By noon the next day I had to admit to myself, "Damn but these pale pink Crocs are comfortable! No wonder so many people have been willing to look so stupid all these years! So light and airy, and yet so cushiony and supportive. Why it's like walking on Jell-o. If we'd only known...."
"Now, now. Let's not get carried away. Around the house and up to the mail box is one thing, but we'll never wear them out in public. Never. For that sin, there remains no excuse. Stupid is as stupid does, and we, JEDA, are not stupid, are we?"
"No. Of course not. Never in public. Obviously."
And I meant it at the time. I still do! But I had to work with myself this afternoon, remind myself several times actually, that the parent meeting for the kids' track and field team does, in fact, constitute a public gathering, and no, it really wouldn't be okay to just pop in in a junky old sweatshirt and the pale pink Crocs.
JEDA's standards are slipping.
Rapid erosion.
So sad.
My favorite place to buy clothes these days is the sports shop.
We're not talking nothing but sweats and sports bras here, but...I'm in Crocs now, so it's not far off....
